When I Bling

It all started on a cold Saturday afternoon.

My friend, Christina, was over and was getting picked up for a date later on. The guy was a total creeper...sideways baseball hat, gold teeth, said "fidy" instead of "fifty." OK well definitely the baseball cap.

So Christina doesn't want the rapper guy to know where she lives, so she tells him my address. He comes to pick her up, she says that I was just visiting her, me and Gold Tooth exchange head bumps, and they depart. Foolproof, one would think - pretending that this was her house.

Then I get a text from her later that evening, "oh no - would about when he drops me off?"

Christina convinces Baggy Pants to drop her off on the street, and she walks in to my apartment late Saturday night and fills me in on her night. We have a good laugh, reminiscing how funny it was that Bling Boy didn't notice our huge family portrait.

Monday rolls around, and everyone but my roommate is gone. Then guess who decides to surprise Christina by showing up at her house?

So my buddy is sitting on our couch, and in Crip Walks the creeper, asking where Christina is? My friend has no idea what is going on, and tells him that this is a guys house. The poor Low Rider tries to play it off, like he knew it was a dude's place all along. Then he walks home alone, in the snow, pulling his pants up every few feet.

Moral of the story: If I ever go visit a girl's home and it turns out to belong to guys, I'll turn my hat sideways and go join a gang.


Our family portrait, it's 2x3 feet in our living room. Pretty obvious to any visitor, one would think.