I am electromagnetic. No, seriously I shock everything...I now live a life of fear.
It all started my freshmen year at BYU - I went a week where I emitted static electricity. My watch stopped working, my car radio kept bugging out, and even my cell phone stopped working. Then it all went away, and I thought my life would be carefree.
When I moved into my townhouse this year, I noticed that my clothes were full of static. Then it got worse, much worse.
The following are things that I have shocked in the past week:
-the dishwasher
-plastic light switches
-door handles (I feel like the bad guy in Home Alone, tapping the doorhandle before I grab it)
-hangers
-soccer ball (the shock might have also been a sign from above not to touch the ball on Sunday)
-sobe bottle
-mounted piranha ontop of fireplace
Before I touch something metallic now, I try and "rub off" my static electricity on other things. I was walking into one of my classes, and was thus engaged in releasing my energy into the wall and realized that everyone in the hall was looking at me. I guess it is peculiar to see someone nervously tapping the wall, then to stop dead in front of the door and stare it down. Testing my hand getting closer to the handle, I can feel the build-up of electricity. I go for it, and then lightening shoots out of my hand and connects with the metallic ball of pain that is the doorknob.
What a world of fear we live in. I hope the X-Men contact me soon.
3 comments:
hahaha my favorite is the x-men picture with you. maybe you could call yourself Magneto Jr.
also, is the mounted piranha new? i don't think i've seen this addition.
We live in a box of electrocution.
It seems like the amount of static electricity increases dramatically every winter. Can somebody tell me why that is? Is it just because everyone is wearing lots of layers of fleecey things?
& I think you'd be an awesome addition to the X-men - electromagnetic powers & absolutely no sense of direction. Awesome.
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