Cats

Ever have to veer your car to avoid hitting a cat? Last time I did I almost crashed, so I went back and took the cat home with me. I kept it mounted over my desk all year.

Story time:
I was driving home and it was about 2:00am, and in my headlights I caught the glimpse of a cat. You know cat’s eyes when you see them, all glittery and big.

I’m cruising and hope this cat will get out of the way, and it’s not moving. Closer, closer, and then when the stupid cat doesn’t move I had to veer the car. Right as I’m dodging this cat, I realize it’s not a cat at all!

It’s nothing more than a cardboard cutout of a cat, spring-loaded, with dimes as eyes to reflect light. Ingenious. Timeless humor. I must have it.

Pulling the car around, one of my friends gets out and starts jogging down the sidewalk. He starts running up to the cat to take it, when suddenly the bushes become alive with human forms.

From my vantage point in the car it looked like hundreds of angry aboriginal people coming out of their hiding places to kill the thief of their shrine. Also from my vantage point I could see my friend – running and screaming towards my car.

No time to even open the door…he jumps through the window and we take off through the empty Provo streets. The tribe pursued. Luckily I’ve seen Fast and the Furious and The Transporter enough times to know what to do.

After being chased around the city and ultimately escaping, I hung the cat up proudly in my room. Telling my Mom this story, somewhat reluctantly, she said that she and her friends used to do that with manikins. Timeless humor must run deep in the family.

Racquetballs and Eyeballs

Racquetball seems like a harmless sport.

Last Friday, I went to play with a couple of my friends – Kory and Regan. When Kory and I went into the men’s locker room to get our gear, they handed us a racquet and a ball.

“What, no goggles?” Kory inquired. The two locker room attendants just laughed and said no, almost as if it was some big inside joke that BYU was playing on us. I made some comment about how misused our tithing money is, and we strutted over to the court, our racquets propped up coolly over our shoulders.

Kory and I began warming up, waiting for Regan. We found out quickly two important facts:
1. Neither one of us could remember the actual rules
2. We were both terrible. Embarrassingly bad. I’m sure a pair of elementary school girls with only one leg each would give us a run for our money.

Then Regan arrives. We start playing, and whoever wasn’t hitting the ball in that round would stand against the wall. After about three minutes of playing, Kory runs to get a ball off of the bounce and hits it full-force - right into Regan’s eye.

Turns out that when a racquetball connects perfectly onto one’s eye, it can actually suction on and rip the eyeball out of its socket.

Luckily this didn’t happen to Regan. Although it did leave her with a very swollen face. She had a great attitude though, and I would say we had more fun sitting on the racquetball court laughing about it than we would have if we had actually played racquetball.

I think we’re planning on going shooting next week.


Regan and her swollen eye, she was such a good sport!