Facebook Pranks

I think we've all had that time that our friends accessed our facebook account. It's a terrible, sinking feeling to know that your gender was wrong for the past month.


Before I started dating Kara, she mistakenly left her facebook up. We were going to be driving all the next day, so I figured this would be a perfect opportunity. But what to do?


Then it hit - change her birthday to the following day.


As we're driving, she keeps getting all of these "happy birthday" texts and phone calls. She was clueless. Confused, because these were her "true" friends calling to genuinely wish her happy birthday. There is no way that everyone could be in on this.


A smile itched its way across my face until she read out loud one of her texts and I burst out laughing. Luckily she thought it was funny. I made sure to wish her happy birthday before she could change it back.


If you're looking for good ways to change someone's profile, here are a few suggestions:

• Change their gender. Whenever they post something, it will show the world that they posted something on "his" or "her" wall.
• Subtly change their activities. Throw in "medieval club" or "polka dancing" to their list. They'll never notice.
• A status update that will get people's attention but is still realistic for them. Perhaps "was late to work because I ran over a cat." 

One of my recent pieces of work, you can hardly notice the "Watching Twilight," "Medieval Club," or "Dancing in the Rain." An added touch is the matching capitalization of his profile.

My Dishwasher Theory

Don't you hate clearing the dishwasher? I sure do, and so I've come up with a great idea:


Have two dishwashers. 
One is always clean and the other dirty. 


Thus eliminating having to ever clear one. To illustrate my point, let's do dinner.


Setting the table I take the dishes out from the "clean" dishwasher. We eat dinner, and it's a mess. 
I then take all of the dirty dishes and put them into the "dirty" dishwasher. Once it's full I run it, and then the dishwashers change roles from "clean" to "dirty." 


Great idea? I think so. 


Currently my dishwasher sounds like those drums from Jumanji. Really every time it's running I think a band of wild monkeys is going to come crashing through my window. This may impede my enthusiasm for two dishwashers in my home. 

Maybe it would be an excuse to grow a sweet beard too...

My Most Awkward Moment

So I used to work at a childcare within a sports club. This pretty much means that it was poor Jason working with about twenty women. My daily break was to take the kids swimming.

Whenever we'd go I instantly became the Pool Monster - with all of the kids attacking me and holding onto my arms, head, or anything else they could get their hands on. Most of them were pretty little, but throughout the summer the kids started becoming stronger swimmers. The parents loved it, and oftentimes would watch. 

One day as I was wrestling the kids, a couple of them decided it would be a good idea to dive underwater and grab my swimsuit. At the time there were about 50 kids swarming me, and I would have hardly noticed had they not pulled my swimsuit - down.

Immediately I can feel the free flow of water around my nether regions, and try frantically to free up my arms so I can pull my swimsuit up. I can almost feel the parent's eyes as I flail around to correct the placement of my suit. I could just imagine some newswriter being there in the room, just waiting to cover a story on a pantless man in a childcare. Luckily I got it fixed quickly, and that was the end of my Pool Monster career.

Yesterday I played "chicken" in the pool, and that seems much more promising to my pool future. 

Official Statement

Just as sure as I love fanny packs and puppies, I guarantee that all of my stories are true. Yes, even the one about me being scared of the Easter Bunny. Because I appreciate my loyal fans so much, please enjoy my favorite youtube video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DmtmmFEVo



If you're not rolling on the ground laughing, this maybe this will put you over the edge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIwTYL1fwJk