Awkward Lifts

Whoever puts in the exercise equipment in gyms must have a sense of humor.

Whenever I’m at the gym and get onto a machine, I seem to be face-to-face with another person. This wouldn’t be so bad, in fact it TYPICALLY gives you greater incentive to keep good form, complete all your reps, etc.

Except for one particular set up.

One of the machines you get on and pull back weight, like a backwards chest press. Directly facing you is a leg spreader machine, where girls typically work out on to increase their thigh strength. Essentially they are opening and closing their legs, meanwhile I’m in front of them thrusting.

Welcome to the most awkward moment of my life – every day.

Karate King

I received some free karate lessons for myself and three friends, complete with the white robe and a belt. At the end of the two weeks there was to be an evaluation of our progress. I could already imagine myself backflipping onto a pedestal, receiving a black belt, and running up a wall as I exited.

The friends I brought with me were great guys - including a body-builder, track runner, and dancer. During the karate sessions we learned different punches, grabs, kicks, reverses, and even got to fight against each other.

At the end of the two weeks, our karate master sat down with us for our final evaluation and went one-by-one telling us of our progress and strengths.

To my body-builder friend he said, "You have great strength - always use that to your advantage and you'll be able to punch your way through anything."

My track buddy he stated, "You have great speed - utilize that in fights and you will be unstoppable."

To the dancer he said, "Your kicks are phenomenal - in fact, you almost destroyed one of our practice dummies. Great work!"

And then the karate master turned to me. I sat a little taller in anticipation, my back straight as I strained to lean closer to catch every syllable that left his lips. He paused a moment, and I knew that it would be hard for him to put into words my greatness and aptness in the sport.

"Jason," he sighed, "You have great friends - stick with them and you'll always be safe."

With that he stood up, bowed to us, and left. Maybe I just wasn't destined for karate, I'll have to switch to something a little more my style like Ultimate Fighting.

Few people know that I was actually Bruce Lee's inspiration.